the not-so-reverend ray gunn ([info]raygunn_revival) wrote,
@ 2005-04-21 09:36:00
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Bring the Boys Back Home
In the future, all mothers will be equipped with night vision.

"День Защитника Отечества : Defenders of the Motherland Day" (c) 2005


In Russia there is a holiday called Defenders of the Motherland Day, also Man's Day. It is traditionally celebrated on February 23. Mark your calendars for next year.
Until recently this holiday was known as Soviet Army Day, but nowadays it has become a holiday for all men by analogy with the similar Women's Day. If they ever come home, men are congratulated and given presents. Like vodka-flavored neckties and Russian nesting rifles.

Mother's Day in the U.S. is almost upon us. What are you getting Mom?

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[info]tommx
2005-04-21 07:26 am UTC (link)
we're taking her out for brunch at a nice restaurant. i'll probably do flowers as well.

as for a caption for the picture:

"as she looked out at the world into which she had sent her children, she mused to herself that life is a war one wages against the world that is only lost if it is never fought"

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[info]raygunn_revival
2005-04-21 08:05 am UTC (link)
My mom's going to be on the high seas on Mother's Day, so I may send her an old-fashioned telegram, but maybe not, as it might cause alarm to be told one has a telegram from shore.

The caption sounds familiar. Not to say you aren't original, but it strikes me as something Churchill (or someone) once said.

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[info]tommx
2005-04-21 08:07 am UTC (link)
interesting, i honestly thought of it on the spot...maybe i heard it somewhere in the past and it came up through my subconsious or something.

or maybe i'm the reincarnation of winston churchill. that's got to be it.

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[info]jackbabalon23
2005-04-21 07:31 am UTC (link)
I like how this shot reconciles the apron wearing maternal figure with that of the solider standing watch over the darkness growing in the woods.
I have images of my mother like this, very nice.

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[info]raygunn_revival
2005-04-21 08:07 am UTC (link)
Thank you.

I love aprons. If I were a collector of things, I believe aprons would be high on the list of things to collect.

(Reply to this) (Parent)
bah humbug!
[info]quickly_9
2005-04-21 07:41 am UTC (link)
i hates mother's day.

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Re: bah humbug!
[info]raygunn_revival
2005-04-21 08:07 am UTC (link)
I hate Arbor Day.

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Re: bah humbug!
[info]quickly_9
2005-04-21 08:30 am UTC (link)
and what's up with flag day?

(Reply to this) (Parent)
Re: bah humbug!
[info]tommx
2005-04-21 10:00 am UTC (link)
i hate waitangi day.

(Reply to this) (Parent)
Re: bah humbug!
[info]drsmax
2005-04-21 03:01 pm UTC (link)
I abhor Hate Day.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
Re: bah humbug!
[info]snizzpod
2005-04-21 03:34 pm UTC (link)
I despise Hate Day Eve.

(Reply to this) (Parent)
Re: bah humbug!
[info]raygunn_revival
2005-04-22 06:53 am UTC (link)
Today is Earth Day.

Let's blow it up!

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
Bottoms Up
[info]drsmax
2005-04-22 06:57 am UTC (link)
Good idea. Also, I declare tonight Not a Night in April if you know what I mean.

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[info]snizzpod
2005-04-21 03:44 pm UTC (link)
I'm thinking of getting my mum some leg irons, maybe a vat of acid. A cleaver. Some plastic sheets. That sort of thing.

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[info]raygunn_revival
2005-04-22 06:48 am UTC (link)
How sweet!

I didn't know your maiden name was Lechter.

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[info]spasmsproject
2005-04-21 03:56 pm UTC (link)
I'll probably get my mom, stepmom, aunt and grandmother flowers, like I do every year.

Emily will probably get me her third Huge Ugly Cactus Plant With Flowers On It in a row. I can't wait.

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[info]raygunn_revival
2005-04-22 06:50 am UTC (link)
Do you still have the other two cacti? Or do they die off during the year? While I understand they are notoriously hard to kill, I bet my black thumb would snuff it out in a week's time.

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[info]spasmsproject
2005-04-22 09:17 am UTC (link)
Sure! I hope eventually to have a whole kick-line of cacti along my kitchen windowsills. Their ugliness (and one is particularly grotesque) is intriguing.

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[info]lilitaly
2005-04-21 05:32 pm UTC (link)
I'm thinking of getting mom a big basket full of handwritten apologies, one for every day of my life.

Wait.

I got her that for Christmas.

Maybe I'll just staple a copy of Catcher in the Rye to each of her extremities.

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[info]raygunn_revival
2005-04-22 06:51 am UTC (link)
That's grim.

Were you really a troublesome child?

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[info]lilitaly
2005-04-22 07:03 am UTC (link)
I'm good like that. But then again, I find grimness and morbidity pretty funny in their over-seriousness.

No, my brother was/is a lot worse, so in comparison, I'm sure I was a walk in the park. But I gave her my share of angsty, "no-one-understands-me-boo-hoo-I-want-my-privacy-I'm-so-out-of-here-at-18" grief. Sometimes I still do in my own "grown-up" way.

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Angst for the memories
[info]raygunn_revival
2005-04-22 07:08 am UTC (link)
At least you didn't make her suffer by dyeing your hair blue-black and wearing your underwear as outerwear like I did.

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Re: Angst for the memories
[info]lilitaly
2005-04-22 07:40 am UTC (link)
Nope, but I did dye my BEARD dark blue for Halloween back in 2000. It ruled. Unfortunately, either the dye wasn't that great or beard hair isn't very porous, I had to re-dye it every morning because it would wash out to this sickly turquoise color by the time I got out of the shower.

My boss was confused when it was still blue for about 2 months. She has this backhanded way about expressing her disapproval and she said:

"Your beard! It's still blue!"
"Of course it's still blue, I have a whole jar of dye left".
"Why don't you just throw it out?" (I thought she said "grow it out")
"Because no matter how long I grow it out, it'll still be blue at the ends".
"No, THROW it out".
"I paid good money for that dye, I'm not getting rid of it!"

It was pretty funny. I don't get paid enough to listen to her opinions.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
shiver me timbers!
[info]raygunn_revival
2005-04-22 12:56 pm UTC (link)
Do you have pictures of the bluebeard?

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Re: shiver me timbers!
[info]lilitaly
2005-04-22 01:39 pm UTC (link)
Sadly I do not.

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[info]qeox
2005-04-21 06:46 pm UTC (link)
Ahh, god bless the Mothers of the world that see through the false pretense and artifice of corporate profit inspired Holy Days. They glare at the trinkets and stiff paper trite comment vehicles as if they were a physical slap on the face. To relegate all the dutiful filial obligations to the womb that imprisoned us for so long is to truly cast aside the family unit as something that is done for, culturally insignificant in the world of fast plastic and glitzy 20 ft tall corner girls. If your particular matriarch deserves giftness and wordness then, by all means, do so not on Hallmark day, and make them true surprises and true gifts unburdened by a quiet sense of guilt or socially inspired duty. Feh.

In other news, my hermit mother-person was squirted out of an insanely-pro-religious-fruitcakes-of-the-world type of nether region exactly 55 years ago today. This is strange since it was on the day that the owner of the insanely-pro-religious-fruitcakes-of-the-world type of nether region was celebrating her annual trip around the sun on that very day. A strange (and later found to be most distressing, due to the new child's propensity for scoffing at the insanely-pro-religious-fruitcakes-of-the-world) present given to her by my maternal grandfather around 9 months before. So, out of a vague sense of guild or socially inspired duty, I picked up my audio-transcontinental-voice-thrower-thingie and conversed plainly and mildly good naturedly with her (my mother, not the religious nut) for some time and she reciprocated from her hermit cave. She was pleased.

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[info]qeox
2005-04-21 06:49 pm UTC (link)
this technology thing should have a grammar checker in addition to the spell checker... Feh. Watch, I care not. I happily cast the quaint notions of grammar and readability to the wind. I am free, unburdenned. Can you tell I'm lying?

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[info]raygunn_revival
2005-04-22 07:10 am UTC (link)
Worry not, for I am a professional grammar checker. That's what I do. All day, every day. So I know how to effectively ignore it in informal situations.

Can you tell I'm telling the truth?

(Reply to this) (Parent)
Someone left my fruitcakes in the rain
[info]raygunn_revival
2005-04-22 07:02 am UTC (link)
On matrilineage, fruits, and nuts:

My mother and grandmother had birthdays a day apart. My mother is allergic to strawberries, and my grandmother could never remember this. Each birthday for many years my grandmother would bake a strawberry shortcake for my mom, who would politiely eat it anyway and get hives. She would get her revenge the next day by making cookies with nuts, which my grandmother despised but would eat anyway and would be shit-sick from until evening.

I am allergic to ammonia, bergamot, and curry, but luckily there are no known desserts made with these.

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Re: Someone left my fruitcakes in the rain
[info]drsmax
2005-04-23 08:22 am UTC (link)
Crap. I thought you liked ammonia-bergamot-curry cakes.

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Re: Someone left my fruitcakes in the rain
(Anonymous)
2005-04-28 12:09 am UTC (link)
Poor Germans, always getting the blame. Everyone makes mistakes. That's why pencils have erasers.

(Simpsons)

-Abe

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